Morgan

Everyone lost him and I was told to speak

They gave me that honor because I once knew him

I knew him when he was young and full of thoughts

I knew him when he was dull and tired

I knew him when he told me his plan

He sat there in that blue chair next to mine

It was science class in eleventh grade

His eyes rung with cornflower blue

His hair was mucked like trodden hay on the road side

His name was Morgan and he was my friend

It was a Friday, the day he told me

It was so long ago now that I remember...

He looked at me with his lips pursed and stern

He told me how he was planning to die

This is when the light tilted and I saw deeper into him

We met in a different science two years before

He sat down next to me and slept through class

He never took notes but he always aced the tests

I was jealous of him and his talents

I was jealous of a boy who knew everything

His mouth parted quickly and precisely that day in eleventh grade

I listened intently to every word he spewed

There weren't that many so I had to make every one count

I knew he wanted me to listen, if not me than any one

Someone deserved to listen

I will die when I am forty-three when I have accomplished nothing

With a dimming smile I asked him how he knew

I asked him in what kind of accident would he die

Never switching glances and never drifting in thought, his lips part again and the truth falls out

I will kill myself

He told me with a sort of light in his eyes,

So in the air of the moment, I kept my own kind of light

A dull smile left his lips once he heard the words aloud

I tried to keep up my own smile, as if I could bring his back

His smile returned, possibly since he realized how awkward the moment could be

I always thought highly of him

I was always jealous of him

I always saw a darkness hidden in him

But he always looked into the light so well

He would always blend in better that way

But if you accomplish great things? I asked him, turning in that school blue chair of mine

His head fell crooked and he pried in my eyes for me to see the truth

This is how he truly felt about it all, he really didn't believe he would amount to anything

It was hard for me in that moment, to grasp this, but seeing as this is what he wanted, I gave in

A chuckle bubbled up in my throat and then I didn't not agree with him, I let him have his way

Looking back to all those years ago, these memories of Morgan will never be tarnished

He was a good boy and an even greater man and I am still jealous of him to this day

I am jealous because of his determination

He may not have strove for the same things you and I reach for, but he did what he felt he was to do

Morgan knew his place in the world and he knew just how to leave it